7 months on the challenge and the consequence of being normal is the struggle, normal meaning the way i was before i had to deal with this challenge that defines me, being not able to do the things that I have been able to do before surgry treatment and diagnosis is frustrating to say the least, the mental and physical battle goes hand in hand but with that being said I’m super grateful for having the support around me but the day-to-day battle is where it’s still at its most hardest ,I find my self like a pensioner it is the most frustrating point of the challenge at hand, struggling to keep moving forward with my age, the frustration as is the tiredness of the battle itself ,constant and irritating nerve pain is still a massive issue and is what is frustrating me and restraining me the most as I have recently said being strong is the highest and most important point and in knowing with time I know eventually ill be better but the frustration and the tiredness of not being where I want to be is the hardest to Fathom.
People don’t understand and as much as they say they do only the people who are close to me no the fact of the situation and how hard it has been just trying to keep the normality and the reality of normal life. People I come across still pass on the best intentions and I know I look well and I do feel good but not knowing how hard it is to just stay upright for more than a few hours without having to retreat to sit down and rest is the hardest part. The constant thoughts on focusing on positiveness and the tiredness that comes with it,its part of my life and like I said I wish it never happens to anyone else I know, the loneliness of mortality is cold enough to put fear into the toughest blokes but just the sight of the light at the end of the tunnel is the hope I have.the choice of life and living for what I have and just managing the battle before me,I have to focus and keep my eyes on the future as I know no I can only limit my living because of the pain, I swear to my family ill never let it stop me get in the way of living, I continue to be frustrated but in my frustration I know that their is love and support behind me and for people who have never faced adversity read my words as an open insight as I try my best to the let young people know the constant struggles of how someone in my situation feels and lives with the thoughts of cancer and for anyone who suffers with something so big where it is out of their hands not by their own choice but by the choice of what there destined to be.
People may think its weak for me to give this insight but like I said in previous post this is just an insight of a battle that I have fought and I continue to win albeit at a turtles pace and as write these post I just try to bring an understanding in the thoughts of someone who is dealing with it,in saying this In the last few weeks I’ve stepped up to the online cancer community , and am trying to make a difference and try to be an advocate I’ll always support those who share this unfortunate bond with me, I try to and will try to help and support in any capacity where someone is affected family,friend or stranger in any way I can, Cancer doesn’t make sense but people are not alone it is what defines me. As days becomes weeks with the fruition of the same point,my mind is also kept busy with constant reading and writing also I have come to a point where I’ve given something back as I have been approached by the cancer council to help out with a future project which is just in the first stages of development, my awareness and challenge of making young adults males to become aware is falling in to place , as in my previous post I was featured by the cancer council as an advertisement for my story which was published on the cancer council website, gradually awareness and giving back is making me feel like I’m doing something right and for the good of this negative situation.
As I have stepped up in the last few weeks to the online cancer community ,I am trying to make a difference and try to be an advocate I’ll always support those who share this unfortunate bond with me, I try to and will try to help and support in any capacity where someone is affected family,friend or stranger in any way I can, Cancer doesn’t make sense but people are not alone.
There are a lot of people suffering and I know I’m not at the worst peril but the peril of trying to get back to normality is the biggest challenge I’m hoping people can relate to this situation in some sort of way, so do something for the greater good and help me get my message across that being young and bulletproof gets in the way of your health do something and get it checked if it’s not right and open up to the reality that I thought would never happen to me but guess what it has.