September the 11th 2015 was one of the most important days in my battle and probably my life, this day was the day that i was penciled in as to find out whether the last 6 months surgery and treatment had done its job, it is the first time i would find out if my cancer was clear.

Over the last few months following the surgery and treatment i knew this would be my first big hurdle and to whether the surgery and treatment had worked, it was 7 weeks after radiation and I had my first lot of scans and I was pretty scared on how it would come out.

It has always and still is always at the back of my mind, the word cancer and all the dreaded thoughts that go with it,I have been trying to get my head around this and still try to fight the constant thought of it and how I have to live with it for my life,I was now going to find out if it was gone or for at least this 3 month block.I saw Dr Boyle and Dr Hong at the life house and was very worried because I knew it was always going to be 50/50 especially that my reacuring rate is 20% like I said before not the greatest odds but its better than having it higher.

Walking in with Luisa and  sitting down and waiting for Dr to come in was the hardest point as it was at this point i was to find out where my life would be going, as Dr Boyle walked in positive and bubbly as usual he sat down and said straight out without any hesitation or small talk straight to the point “right results are in and everything is clear congratulations no sign of it in the leg or in your chest this is fantastic news I’m so happy for you”,  and just like that without any emotion I couldn’t believe it  just as soon as i heard those words it had felt something was lifted off my chest I could finally breathe it was a great feeling and a pinnacle in my life which I will never forget.

Getting the best news possible was all I wanted it gives me more time to get on with normality as much as I can even though I know that for the next two years of my life will be in blocks of three monthly intervals, with the scans that have to be done just like on Friday but to me just getting the first all clear makes me feel like I’m alive once more and I have so much more to do.I have ticked of another box.

Even though i am all clear for now my next big thing is to get back to walking properly and to get back to doing the normal things like i said in my previous post just being able to run and chase my kids go on a bike ride kick the ball around go to places where i know i don’t have to rest every 2o minutes or not over do my self is the most important to get back to work as soon as i can just to get back to the normality and to enjoy the simple things that people take for granted.

Milestones are measured in how much you can do and achieve in moments in your life and having this happen to me it makes me appreciate everything so much more like I said the little things mean so much and I have got another chance to live it, and to make something of it and to get the word out that things happen for a reason and make you more aware of what it is to live and how to live and how not to take it for granted and not to waste it,I am always going to be humble to the people who have helped me and have supported me and my family in this battle that I continue to go through and though it may seem like battle being a big word believe me the war that me personally and my family went through and is going through I wouldn’t wish it on anyone it is the hardest thing to fathom to stare right in the face of morality and adversity. To go through something like this wasn’t my choice and its always at the back of my head but like I’ve said I’ve got the chance to live and i have to take it with everything i have got, so from today on ill continue what I have been doing thank god  every day and appreciate all the small things and all the people who are there cause at the end of it all you only get one chance at life and you need to make the most of it.


3 thoughts on “Breathe.

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